mansun - when the wind blows

Wireless tells us all
Looks like there's a war
Both of us been through this before dear
Put on our gas masks and pray dear
But at least we've got each other

I'll still love you when the wind blows through
I've been through this before
I'll still love you when the wind
When the wind blows through

Outside all is cold
It looks like there's no war
But my hair's falling out at it's root dear
Things will blow over any day dear
And at least we've got each other


Listening to: "One (Live 8 rip)" by U2

keys to the world

has it really taken 3 years? can't be sure, last album "human conditions" was very forgettable you might have heard and it's true. well. "keys to the world" is richard ashcroft's new album and the ex-Verve himself has described it as "shit hot". see why i love rock stars so much? they mostly shoot their mouths off and it's fun to listen to their egos.

i need to digress. i didn't want to get started on the NME but for some reason i'm thinking of the NME and i am getting started on the NME. i'm reminded that some ass of an editor over at the NME once gave embrace's "out of nothing" album a ZERO ottta 10. i mean, ZERO! i admit i entertained murderous thoughts then, and even now it makes me wanna scream!! look, you're a COCK! you could have given a 5 (because you're a cock) or a 4 (bigger cock), or a 3 even (bigger bigger cock) but no you gave a ZERO (MONSTER COCK). you were trying to take the piss but i'm not amused. i would have pissed on you in return, you MONSTER COCK!! (L. you don't really hafta read my blog anymore, i know you're not amused by my use of the language *sheepish smile*).

neways, getting back to "keys to the world". a top geezer uploaded a torrent for 8 mp3s from this album, and i've been listening to it a bit. shit hot? nah... but it's decent. it's still not a Verve album, nah, wouldn't even describe it as Verve-esque. it's still Richard Ashcroft (even though once ago he promised his second solo album would be Verve-esque songs). i use the word "still" because growing up, the Verve meant. music once reached Heights. try a listen to "These Drugs Don't Work" naysayers. it actually hurt when the band split up the second time in April 1999. things ain't ever gonna be the same again. and it still hurts, cuz music once reached Heights.

but. "keys to the world", based on the 8 mp3s i downloaded, is a marked improvement from the man's previous outings. i'm only so so about "break the night with colour", the new single. still the title track is one epic gem and worth the price of the CD alone (just like the title tracks of "the good will out" and "drawn from memory" alone were worth the price of embrace's first 2 albums). he's said he wants to be a great songwriter, to write tunes and not fuck around. well. i believe you richard ashcroft. i hope i got them lyrics right cuz they're a real inspiration to me.

"institutions you ran through them from the age of 5
and no one loves you, cared if you live or you die
here we go again in your room you ride all pleasures
the sinking sense fell through the net no one to catch you
here we go again in your room you ride all pleasures
the sinking sense fell through the net perhaps i could make it better?

i got the keys to the world, oh...mixed up world
i got the keys to the world, oh... suicidal world
whatcha gonna do when we get there??" (Keys To The World)

sure it doesn't break new ground and it's still flawed. still. 7/10.


Listening to: "Why Do Lovers?" by Richard Ashcroft

the sheer arrogance of our time

Narnia was disappointing. The cast was all wrong, Tilda Swinton in particular. Andrew "Shrek" Adamson wasn't going to pull it off anyway. Really, what were you thinking Shrekman. You've made C.S. Lewis turn in his grave. It's a pity Peter Jackson did King Kong (what was that about? I didn't like King Kong but then you don't expect much of movies like that; and i forgive thee Jackson). 2000-2004 were the best years. The Matrix Part 1, Lord of the Rings 1-3, Donnie Darko and The Last Samurai (hey that was good okay!) were all brilliant and 2005 just didn't kick ass for me.

this one kicks big fat dog's ass! 18-19 February 2006. http://www.bkk100rock.com/main.html Snow Patrol/Placebo/Oasis/Ian Brown/Franz Ferdinand/Maximo Park/Deus/Stereophonics (in order of adoration) are all performing in Bangkok! Fantastic in the "oh my gawd!!?!!" extreme, and i'm still rubbing my eyes. I've put in my leave application for that whole week. All i can do now is wait for approval of leave... *fingers crossed* YOU BETTER GIVE IT TO ME HO!!!

That NKF saga. Where are my stones?!! I mean, this kinda stuff should bother you!! Sure I concede we're all fallen folk and i don't want to cast stones at anyone cuz hell i know i'm fallen, but this! You can read the full report here but you might as well vent with me. Crooks!! Bastards!! Scum!!! ?!@#!!!?!#&*!! The only thing I'd add further to this vented spleen is it ain't only the CEO but the entire Board of Directors, their staff that worked closely enough with the Board to smell the filth and stench, but especially the Chairman. For the avoidance of a defamation suit, views expressed herein are entirely mine own - IM(H)O - but SUE ME RICHARD YONG!

I applaud Susan Long. This was (i fink) the article that made a difference in this misery inflicted on all of us by the twats at NKF. My last word: in the end, TT Durai who read law at university and worked in our Legal Service (prosecution i hear..) suing SPH for publishing SL's article... man, we're so FUCKING fallen we don't even realise the arrogance of our time.

***

The NKF: Controversially ahead of its time? by Susan Long

A RETIRED contractor who wants to be known only as Mr Tan used to be a NationalKidney Foundation (NKF) donor until he was hired to install some bathroomfittings for its new headquarters at Kim Keat Road in 1995.

Inside chief executive T.T. Durai's office suite on the 12th floor of the $21million building, he says he 'lost it' when he had to install, among otherthings, a glass-panelled shower, a pricey German toilet bowl and a gold-platedtap.

'I started screaming my head off. The gold-plated tap alone cost at least$1,000. It was crazy. If you're Bill Gates and own your own multinational,whatever you want, fine. But you're a charity, using donors' money,' he huffs.

After his outburst, he was told to 'just do' his job. The shower stall remained,but the taps he eventually installed were 'scaled down' to an upmarketchrome-plated model.

To this day, the 54-year-old belongs to NKF's die-hard detractor camp, unmovedby its shining success in social entrepreneurship and its track record in savinglives. As he puts it: 'After that day, not a cent from me. I'm not going to payfor gold-plated taps.'

Asked for its response to the contractor's story, the NKF's public relations armsidestepped the details and said yesterday: 'Since you can't give us details ofthe contractor... it is difficult for us to give an answer to enlighten yourreaders.

'In the past fortnight, the NKF has hogged the headlines. Propitiously, the newsof its amazing $189 million in reserves broke the very day it celebrated its35th anniversary on April 7. Since then, a stream of more than 130 people -former employees, former donors and disgruntled members of the public - havee-mailed or called this newspaper to let off steam about its hard-sell tactics,thick carpets and controversial chieftain.

At the same time, about 30 others, individuals and organisations, have sent inletters of support for the organisation, praising its dialysis programmes andpledging continued donations.

So far, the NKF kitty appears none the worse for wear despite all thecaterwauling. On April 11, its 11th NKF Charity show raised $6.7 million, just afraction short of last year's $6.8 million. Last night, it netted another $6.4million.

These serious sums of money - how the NKF gets it, spends it and accounts for it- have been a well-gnawed bone of contention among its naysayers. Way beforedetails of its $5 million tie-up with insurance giant Aviva unleashed aferocious debate on donor privacy issues, charges of 'invasive' fund-raisinghave dogged the outfit.

But the NKF has made no bones about gunning for the charity dollar - the morethe merrier, just like any other profit-and-loss business. Relentless innovationover the years has brought new ways of fund-raising: greeting cards, livecharity shows, donations via SMS, consultancy services, even selling its sparetelemarketing capacity to private companies. In the social service sector, theNKF is the unparalleled paragon of the art of 'heartsell'.

Most impressive of all, notes Mrs Tan Chee Koon, executive director of theNational Volunteer and Philanthropy Centre, is its ability to tap on the healthscreening it conducts for heartlanders to ensure a 'sustained pool of regulargivers'.

Unlike many charities which rely on large, one-off infusions from wealthyfoundations, NKF's bread and butter is the $3 to $5 monthly Giro donations fromabout one million ordinary Singaporeans. With such a big base of small heartlandgivers - its website says nearly two out of every three Singaporeans are donors- the pennies add up.

Every day, seven days a week, some 100 'prevention evangelists' and nurses fanout to companies, army camps, condominiums and churches islandwide to test theblood, body fat and urine of at least 1,600 people daily.

Since 1997, more than one million Singaporeans have undergone these free healthscreenings, which are followed typically by an impassioned pitch: 'This issomething we're doing for you; is there something you'd like to do for us?'

A voluntary sector consultant notes: 'Even old grannies are not spared thespiel. Most are pressured to do a Giro contribution for a minimum of six months.Nothing they do is illegal, but it's all very aggressive. Nothing wrong withthat, but when they push the fund-raising envelope, they tend to be insensitiveto the larger consequences for the charity sector.'

But the NKF's head of what it calls 'prevention marketing', Ms Shirley Tan,makes no apologies for the 'heartfelt pleas' it delivers along with its basichealth checks, which she notes would cost at least $60 in private clinics. Shesays these are 'free-will offerings' and the 'evangelists' have no financialtargets to meet at each venue.

PAINFUL LESSONS

NKF chairman Richard Yong, 63, a former private banker who has been on the NKFboard for 18 years, makes clear that lucre is the necessary lifeblood of theorganisation.

Every cent literally buys time for each patient. And the NKF's mission to savethe lives of those with kidney failure is undeniably daunting, which explainswhy there are no other self-funded, non-profit dialysis providers in the world.

Each patient is admitted for life - or until they are lucky enough to get akidney transplant. The average life expectancy of those on dialysis is 10 to 15years, at a cost of $150,000 upwards a head to the foundation.

Mr Yong says patients themselves pay from nothing to $800 each month forthree-times-a-week dialysis which would cost at least $3,000 each month outside.

The incidence of kidney failure here - increasingly a lifestyle disease closelyassociated with diabetes and hypertension - is now the third highest in theworld, trailing only affluent countries like the United States and Japan. This,coupled with a fast growing grey-haired population, means that the NKF hasplenty of costly work cut out for it.

Its money-minting machinery, however, was not always so hard-nosed orwell-oiled. Starting out in an unprepossessing Singapore General Hospital atticwith just two beds and one metal tray in 1969, Mr Yong says, it battled the samegrowing pains that less publicised, cash-strapped charities face today.

When it set up its first dialysis programme in 1982 in Kwong Wai Shiu Hospital,it dispensed free treatment with little regard for outcomes and costs.

In 1986, it ran out of money, so he and other board members had to make theheart-wrenching decision of who among their 32 patients should continue withdialysis, and who would have to be sent home with morphine to die.

'I couldn't sleep; I couldn't eat. Who were we to play God?' he recalls. It hithome then: It was important to have 'healthy reserves that can withstand eventhe most dire economic times', and self-generated income 'so that we can beindependent, instead of on our knees, poor and begging for life'.

So the irony is that, despite being one of the oldest, the NKF is yet one of themost progressive charities here. As a mature 35-year-old, it is looking atsustainability and continuity issues for the next 100 years, even as most othervoluntary welfare organisations (VWOs) grapple with day-to-day survival issues.

In the international arena, it is such a trail-blazing model of socialentrepreneurship that American universities like Harvard, Johns Hopkins and theMassachusetts Institute of Technology have done case studies on it.

Locally, however, it is so far ahead of its time that society has yet to keeppace. Unlike in the West - where charities aggressively campaign for the charitydollar, professional fund-raising is a bona fide industry and tie-ups withcommercial entities are old news - the social sector here unfortunately is stillin its infancy.

According to Mr Terry Farris, head of charity management for Asia at Europeanprivate bank MeesPierson, the fact that it costs money to raise money - theaccepted norm, he says, is now 15 to 20 cents out of every dollar - may not havesunk in here yet.Many VWO chiefs note there still exists an arcane expectation that non-profitsshould survive on the 'goodwill and sacrifice' of volunteers, even though it isrecognised worldwide that the public good is much better served by hiringprofessional managers at market rates.

TOUGH LOVE

THE NKF has tried to break away from the 'third-tier' image charities sufferfrom, by sourcing for talent worldwide and paying them fair market value.According to NKF's honorary treasurer Loo Say San: 'Many Singaporeans prefer notto work for charitable organisations, so we go overseas to hire.'

It does its recruitment drives at top institutions like the Indian Institutes ofManagement and Beijing University, competing with the likes of General Electricand Morgan Stanley for the best brains money can buy. Since 2001, it has alsotapped the skills of a steady stream of MBA interns from top business schoolslike Harvard and Stanford.It staff strength is 947, a figure that NKF defends as necessary to man thethree shifts of dialysis sessions, each lasting four hours, which its 22 centresaround the island run daily.

Pressed for details on staff composition, Mr Yong said 'more than half aremedical personnel'. The rest are spread among the administrative, marketing,fund-raising and communications departments.

The taboo it seeks to break is that charity is synonymous with poor quality. AsDr Gerard Chuah, an eye surgeon and chairman of the NKF Children's Medical Fund,says: 'What bothers me is when people say, why can't you continue to functionout of containers? Hello, just because we're a charity doesn't mean we have tooperate in a hovel out in the rain.

'Would you ask a family member of yours who has an honours degree to work ina container? We want to get the best people we can find who will run goodprogrammes to save more lives.'

[me: man are you really an eye surgeon? Gerard Chuah you oughta know, you're not as clever as you think. in fact i think you're an ass. i'm sure the Hippocratic Oath means squat to you, and you wouldn't work or let your family members work in containers. But you better know, there are doctors in this world who would sooner work in containers just to save lives, or did you watch Live 8 just to see Madonna strut around on stage. Cock! Cock! Cock!!!! Actually. Fucker!]

Even when administering its dialysis and patient rehabilitation programmes,the NKF approach is controversial. You might call it 'tough love'. According toMr Job Loei, a dialysis patient who also helps counsel new admissions at NKF,those wallowing in self-pity are set straight.

NKF demands that patients co-pay for dialysis, hold down jobs and stick totheir diet - or pay more. Patients' fees, for example, are reduced by $50 to$100 as an incentive, if they find a job, get promoted, tie the knot, givebirth, or even when their school-going children score As.

It helps patients find jobs, provides courses to upgrade their qualificationsand holds personal grooming classes to help them remain attractive to theirspouses. If their children's grades slide, it even helps engage, and providessubsidies of up to 80 per cent for, tuition teachers to coach them.

As Mr Yong says: 'We don't dialyse them to go home and sleep. We want them tohave jobs, bring home the bacon, contribute to the economy, have normalrelations with their spouses and their children to do well in school. We sayopenly to them: 'If you want to die, go and die by yourself; don't come to us'.'

As a result, 93 per cent of NKF dialysis patients work, support theirfamilies and lead productive lives, compared to less than 60 per cent worldwide.The general philosophy is: No free rides.

OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY

LIKEWISE for employees, adds Mr Loo. They are constantly reminded that theirwages come from donor dollars. To prevent wastage, there is an extensive list offines, from $5 for getting to work five minutes late, to $30 for forgetting toswitch off the lights. All staff functions are held in the in-house auditorium'for fear of being labelled spend-thrift' if they venture outside.

For the record, Mr Yong says, there is no such thing as 'first-class travel'.Senior executives, from directors up, including CEO Mr Durai, fly businessclass. The rest fly economy.

Little is known of Mr Durai, 56, apart from the fact that his name T.T.(Thambirajah Tharmadurai) means a charitable man in Tamil. A former president ofthe then University of Singapore Students' Union, he graduated with a law degreeand worked in the government legal service for six years until 1977.

The elegant and eloquent man eschews publicity and, despite 3 1/2 hours spentwith top officials at the NKF last week, this reporter received only a handshakefrom him. No quotes.

His staff know him as a 'visionary' who cares deeply for NKF patients andknows each one by name. He is also a 'tough taskmaster' who works from 6am to10pm, and eats and showers in his office.

He is said to run a tight, results-oriented ship, with a labyrinth ofdepartments within departments and units within units.

But even the most embittered acknowledge it is a 'dynamic' workplace andtraining ground. Its staff turnover is high; employees are so often poached thatmanagers now have to sign three-year contracts.

One downside cited by former employees is a corporate culture described as'cagey', in which staff are discouraged from discussing finances.

Despite much public prodding and the Finance Ministry's encouragement tocharities to reveal the salaries and benefits of their top employees, NKF topguns are sticking to their guns not to allow more public disclosure.

What they keep reiterating is: 'Although the NKF is a non-profitorganisation, the people who have chosen to work in the NKF are privateindividuals, who are entitled to their privacy.'

But therein lies the chink in an otherwise spiffy armour: NKF'sforward-looking business model lacks the financial transparency that wouldenable it to stand tall and get out of its controversy-laden shell.

After all, if it is governed by the creed of the marketplace, it should alsoappply rigorous standards of disclosure and accountability.

As a VWO analyst notes: 'You can find out how much any CEO of a publiccompany makes, so why not them? How can it be that when they feel like it, theycan be 'private', but when raising funds, they are 'non-profit' and 'public'? Ifany member of the public asks, why shouldn't the information be made availableto them?'

As society matures, says Mr Farris, people will have higher expectations ofnon-profit governance.

'Like it or not, if you turn over as much as $67.5 million a year, you're abusiness, though it be the business of doing good,' he says. 'As a charity, youhave to always remember: You are spending other people's money.'

On the NKF's part, so often has it been bad-mouthed - which it attributes to'professional jealousy' - that it seems to have developed a persecution complexof sorts. 'Why is it us, always us?' is a plaintive cry its board members oftenutter.

It has also gone beyond plaintive cries, to being the plaintiff in defamationsuits - at least three times. In 1999, for instance, it sued Madam Tan Kiat Noifor sending out an e-mail message accusing it of paying ridiculously highbonuses to its staff. An estimated 100,000 people received it. The case wassettled after she apologised publicly, and paid $50,000 in damages, as well asNKF's legal costs.

Whither the NKF from here? Although it continues to bid the public judge itby its works and its effectiveness, detractors will continue to be fixated bythe shroud over its numbers. Like it or not, rumblings are likely to persistuntil there is more publicly-transparent accounting.

***

my mom donated loads for NKF. she still does, and she still will. it was never about fat cat scumbags like Durai and Yong but it sucks to know 90 cents of every dollar we donated went somewhere else but the kidney patients. i think these fat cat scumbags richly deserve some jail time. it's called pay back.


Listening to: "A Caution To The Birds" by The Frames

currently

time: 12.37 pm Fri, eve of eve of Christmas

feeling: better =)

ipod playing: "see my friends" - gravenhurst

doing: blogging and taking a break from work (it's a half day today - yey!)

thinking: i was being silly earlier

what to do: go home, walk the dogs with L., watch Chronicles of Narnia tonight (with myself)

currently

time: 9.30 am Fri, eve of eve of Christmas

feeling: melancholic =(

ipod playing: "gravity" - coldplay (not embrace, but i like embrace's version better)

doing: blogging and squat else (everyone else is outside room exchanging presents)

thinking: is it just me or are there people more uptight, self-righteous, with-a-stick-up-their-arse kinda than me, or what!

to do: go home, get some sleep, watch Chronicles of Narnia tonight (possibly with myself)